Being fifty-something, I’ve learnt to laugh at myself. Goodness knows there are more opportunities to do so every day.
Over the last few weeks I’ve been busily telling anyone who will listen that I’m joining a book club in the new year.
I’m quite excited to be popping my book club cherry … it’s been on my mental bucket list (not this one) for many a year.
Now, I’m not up with the latest releases, the hip and happening authors, or who’s hot and who’s not in the literary world. I’ve fallen badly out of touch with all that over the last few years. My day job over here has me reading and researching all day long and by most evenings it’s all I can do to catch up with the blogposts from my favourites in the blogosphere or flip through a magazine I’ve picked up at the library after wandering purposelessly up and down the fiction aisles trying to look as if I have a purpose there.
When my new book club (did I mention that there will soon be a book club to which I belong?) buddies nominated the latest Barbara Kingslover release as our first read, I played along. I pretended I knew the author and her previous works (apparently there have been many) and have since been blithely telling all that I need to get hold of Barbara Kingslover’s latest novel so I can finish it before MY book club meeting in January (I may even have slipped into a braggy, Hamptons-kind-of accent).
Sure, I got some odd looks but I assumed people were intimidated by my new book club “status” or hadn’t heard of Barbara Kingslover. Plebeians.
Today I braved the big box retail centre to purchase said book. There is nowhere local that stocks it and I had brazenly vowed to support the book club authors by purchasing brand new hard copies (not e-versions) of their books. So I ventured into the fluoro-lit plaza and queued with the (other) literary types at the service desk.
“I’m after Barbara Kingslover’s latest novel Flight Behaviour,” I offered up (knowingly; maybe even Hamptons-ly). I spoke loud and clear, wearing my big-girl braggy book club pants on the outside, (over my stylish 7/8th capri pants and mock moccasins) a la super-heroine.
The assistant looked at me oddly for just a second or two before responding, “Sure, it’s over here.”
I swished my cape and followed her to the front of the store.
There it was, piled high in the window display: my first book club read. Ever. It was even on special. Winning!
I paid for my prize and headed home (faster than a speeding bullet), planning to reward myself by cracking the spine after dinner.
Once home, I couldn’t resist. I slipped the novel out of its giant gaudy plastic plaza-branded bag and smugly rubbed my fingers along its embossed metallic cover printing, spelling out the author’s name, letter by letter, as if it were in braille.
B-a-r-b-a-r-a K-i-n-g-s-o-l-v-e-r
What?
It says KingSOlver not KingSLover. Doh!
How many times have I pronounced that name incorrectly (and seemingly with authority) over the past few weeks?
How many times have people (kind souls) known but not corrected me?
Looks like my cover was blown long ago.
Not so smug now.
It seems my big-girl braggy book club pants have wedgied me.
From the inside.
Well and truly.
Not at all how I envisaged popping that cherry.
Close, but no cigar.
Curses. Hate when that happens. Also: I totally hear you about not reading much when you work with words in your day job. I’m still recovering from that.
Yeah … I like to THINK I read a lot more than I actually do. A lot happens in my head that happens nowhere else. 🙂
Oh how I wish I’d seen your face when you discovered this!
x
You would have belly-laughed long and hard with me (and probably given that wedgie an extra tug!) xo 🙂
Let us know if the book is any good, I am an e-reader, so would probably be chucked out of a book club. xx
I’ll let you know how I find it. Hey, I’m an e-reader, too … as are some in MY Book Club buddies. I just decided for the Book Club books I’d make an effort and actually buy the hard copies for a change. I think if a book club chucks you out for being an e-reader, it’s time to find a new book club anyway. 🙂
I hope you enjoy the book and like the book club.
If you don’t click with this book club there are others!
Thanks, haralee … I will keep that in mind. 🙂
Hi Sheryl, stopping in from GenFab, so glad to have you there! Loved the humor over and over in this post. Even down to the appropriate “bookie” attire you donned. Hope you enjoy the book.
Thanks for stopping in, Barbara. I can’t wait to explore GenFab some more … my internet has been down for a couple of days so I’ve got behind with my online reading. Hope to catch up with you more over there! S. 🙂
What a great story! And here I thought that sort of stuff only happened to me!
Ah, Patricia … I’m glad to hear it’s not just me! S. 🙂
Let us know if it’s a good read after your book club has psychoanalyzed all the characters and questioned their motives.
I will, Teresa. I will. 🙂