The fence philosopher

Being fifty-something, I’m happy to grab my life philosophy and learnings when and where I can get ‘em.  I especially love it when I discover them in unexpected moments.

Last year I blogged about our Year of the fecking fence. As I suspected, our fencing phase overlapped into 2013, though only just.

As soon as our neighbours gave the green light for our new joint fence, I went in search of a fencing contractor. Bill the fencer turned up promptly to measure and discuss the job then mailed me back a reasonable quote the next day. In our book, having dealt with tardy tradesmen who take weeks to arrive or even acknowledge your call, Bill was the front-runner.  I didn’t mind his age (I guessed he was sixty-something), his heavy European accent or his struggle with English … I was after his fencing skills not his language skills. And he promised to build me a “schmick” fence.

Yes, Bill got the job.

Before: fecking fence

Before: fecking fence

He arrived early on day 1 and set to work dismantling the old fence, digging the new post holes and finally filling them with cement and new posts before knock-off time.

Day 2 was forecast as a scorcher. By lunchtime, Bill had the horizontal rails in place and the temperature was inching close to 40 degrees (that’s 40 degrees Celsius, folks). I decided to give him the option of knocking off early and coming back to finish the job in the morning when it would be cooler. I tracked him down in our neighbour’s yard.

He declined my offer to head home.

“What else am I gonna do?” he asked. “Another fence to build tomorrow. I said I finish today. I will.”

I surveyed his work so far, noting (aloud) that it was looking good already and that it was going to look great with the palings on.

There, in the dusty dry desolation of our neighbour’s backyard renovation, Bill turned to me, looked directly into my eyes and said (in perfect English): “Nailing on fence palings is like dressing a woman or shaving a man … the finishing touch.”

Like Robert Frost, only different.

In that single moment I understood more about fencing-as-a-craft than ever before and I knew (for certain) that my new fence was, indeed, going to be “schmick”.

fencing, fifty-something, boomers, midlife, philosophy

After: “schmick” fence

And so it came to pass.

If you’re in the Geelong area and after a “schmick” fence with some philosophy thrown in, email me and I’ll hook you up with Bill, the fence whisperer.

About these ads

Psyching myself up for the family portrait

Being fifty-something, I’m starting to think that there are already too many photo’s of me in this world.

If I was never captured on film (or in pixels) again, the world wouldn’t shift from its axis and I’d be happy enough to be remembered by my pre-fifty-something snapshots. Which is saying something … most of them are shockers.

Let’s face it … who becomes more photogenic with age?

That’s why it was left to the younger generation to suggest we engage a professional photographer to capture a family portrait.

My niece E tells me she was inspired by this earlier blogpost of mine.

Maybe I should have thought that one through more.

How could we say “no”? E was organising it all, had picked a tentative date and had the perfect photographer worded up.

Next Sunday is the day.

It’s looming like an ominous, dark thunderhead on the not-so-far-off horizon.

I’m not ready.

I haven’t lost that 15kg I’d hoped to. (I know: there is not enough spandex in this hemisphere to fix that by Sunday.)

I haven’t grown long flowing Rapunzel-style locks.

I’m looking untanned (some might say pale and wan; I probably have a vitamin D deficiency, to boot).

I haven’t had that crown replaced on that molar (the one that’s been missing now for more than two years).

I feel a pimple coming on just near my lip (surely one outgrows pimples by fifty-something?)

I don’t have a stunning super-photogenic outfit in my wardrobe (not one that fits, anyway).

Still, we have a very loose dress-code, which I’m hoping will work in my favour.

I’m thinking black. Sleek. Slimming. Fade-into-the-background. Invisible.

Maybe a splash of colour to draw attention away from … well, everything.

In a group photo, getting the outfits right hardly ever happens. I just hope we can avoid something like this:

Or this:

Yikes!

Sunday is looming fast. I’ve mentally noted some tips for the day (to hopefully avoid some of those inevitable “why didn’t I just …?” moments after the event, when the portraits have been printed in super-size and framed underglass for future generations to view).

Come click-time, I’ll be:

  • standing tall
  • sucking my belly in
  • pushing my chin out and head forward (to unfold those extra chins and swan-ify my neck)
  • hiding my chicken-feet hands behind my back
  • turning slightly to the side (obviously)
  • attempting a graceful ballet-girl stance of some sort (but probably toppling over)
  • jostling for a position at the back (but probably toppling over)
  • fluffing some volume into my hair at the sides
  • checking I don’t have a cocky’s crest of spiky hair on top
  • slapping on some lip gloss (lots of it)
  • trowelling concealer all over that pimple
  • smiling as graciously, genuinely and widely as I can without revealing the toothy gap or emphasising the crow’s feet

Mostly, I’ll be looking skywards and hoping with all my might for the clouds to part and a shaft of Doris-Day-lens-perfect-softening-light to shine its loving little heart down on us.

All of us.

Bring it on.

Do you suppose she has a pimple on her chin? Photo credit: http://www.last.fm

Ambushed by memories … and loving it.

Being fifty-something, I’ve got half a lifetime’s worth of memories to manage.

Photographs, mementos, cards, keepsakes, touchstones … however you categorise them, I possess as many of them as the next fifty-something.

When I wrote about the memories sparked by this photo a couple of weeks back, I was amazed at the number of family and friends who mentioned it to me, sharing their own remembrances of the time when the photo was taken, or how it related to another time in their own life. That brought home to me (again) how memories stimulate thought, reflection and dialogue and how important (and rewarding) it is to keep them alive.

For me, that means not hiding them away in dusty albums or rarely opened keepsakes boxes.

I prefer to be ambushed by my memories, just as I was when the above photo literally fell out of a box and into my awareness.

That happens a lot around here. And I like it.

Maybe I’m just too lazy to sort and catalogue my memories into albums and beautifully crafted scrapbooks. OK … that’s not even a maybe.

But this is what’s been working for me. I have my memory starters secreted in places I access regularly. They’re like little booby-traps, that sneak up on me.

My Girl and Wonder Boy’s first birthday cards mingle with the DVDs in the drawer beneath the TV.

There are past family feast photos (laying in wait to eat into my emotions) in the bulging folder of take-away menus taped to the inside of the pantry door.

There’s a photo of Mum and Dad rubbing shoulders with the flatware in their “good cutlery” canteen that I somehow inherited.

Most of our own wedding photos are in one of those dusty albums in the top cupboard that requires a visit to the shed to retrieve a step ladder before I can delve in. But there’s one (a big one) that floats around the shed, being bumped from one spot to another, making way for DIY projects, tools, storage boxes. It’s even managed to ambush a couple of neighbours borrowing tools.

Hidden inside the antique games table, along with kings, queens, pawns and decks of playing cards, is the guest book from my late sister Gay’s funeral.

And lurking in my underwear drawer is one of Gay’s hankies. Every couple of weeks it rises to the surface as I rummage through my knickers, reminding me how Gay always carried a hankie. It’s a giggle every time.

On a much-used bookshelf, sandwiched between a modern classic and Yates Garden Guide, is an unassuming, black-bound bible with a special inscription from my grandparents to my dad on his eleventh birthday. (Wonder what was in his head when he was eleven?)

And in the basket where I keep my wrapping paper and gift cards is a special blue envelope with memories of James, our stillborn nephew.

So, when I’m doing mundane, ordinary things, these items leap out and into my head and my heart. They activate thoughts, reflection and dialogue and stay alive as part of my everyday life.

I still get surprised when I rifle through the “present-wrapping” basket or open the lid on the games table and unexpectedly find myself transported to another time and place.

I’d love to say I’d set this all up as a master plan – a strategically integrated memory map for my home. Truth is, it’s happened organically over many years. I just love how spontaneous memories make me feel, so I’ve left it that way.

And I love that that’s how recollections are in my head … they’re not chronologically ordered or categorised by event. They cascade out at will, when I least expect them, finding impromptu connection though a smell or a taste, a word or a song … or just a feeling.

They’re there always. Ready to ambush me. Bring it on.

Lego, window-leering, lunch and lollies

Being fifty something I leap at any opportunity I can to feed my inner child.

So it didn’t take much enticing to get Mr P and moi down to Point Lonsdale on The Bellarine for the Queenscliff Bricks (Lego) exhibition. (We never need an excuse to take a drive to this beautiful part of the world.)

I was hoping to see some truly creative Lego masterpieces, maybe in the style of Nathan Sawaya, the creative genius behind this compelling piece of blockery:

lego masterpiece by nathan sawaya

Yellow lego creation By Nathan Sawaya http://www.brickartist.com

Check out Nathan’s website gallery … you don’t have to be a Lego fanatic to appreciate his work.

At Point Lonsdale, I found something entirely different. Well, same … but different. The weekend’s exhibition comprised replica pieces.

Replica space ships:

lego spaceships bellarine

Replica Eiffel tower:

Lego bellarine eiffel tower

Replica Buckingham Palace (complete with a bustling crowd of Lego men and women):

Lego Bellarine Buckingham palace

There was a replica Yoda, a replica Government House, a replica-just-about-anything-you-can-imagine.

The hall was buzzing with little Lego-lovers and big Lego-leerers. It takes a shipload of Lego and even more concentration to put these massive works together.

The Rotary Club had the place running like clockwork. Don’t they know how to run an event? Crowd control, ticket scanning, people counting, catering … even a donut van waiting at the exit for Mr P.

Lunch in nearby Queenscliff was a given, but not before the obligatory wander up then down the main street … always a window shopping winner in this funky seaside locale.

I fed my inner child some more with this behind-the-glass creation:

Upholstery striped chair with tail

Apparently my inner child was skipping hand-in-hand with my inner wannabe upholsterer … these beauties were enough to lure me (and my inner alters) inside for a closer inspection:

Sausage Dog chairs

Lunch at the Beaches Cafe didn’t disappoint. Nor did a swing past the Seaside Lolly Shop to bag some sugar before heading home.

Fully satisfied. All of us. Inner child included.