Dancing naked with the hippies (or not)

Being fifty-something, the notion of aging gracefully is not yet well-defined in my mind. Bit by bit, I’m putting it together.

When I notified my business clients (via facebook of course) that I was taking a short break, heading to the north coast of New South Wales to get in touch with my inner hippy, I used this image for visual punch.

Photo credit: la gross mymy on flickr.com

Photo credit: la gross mymy on flickr.com

A couple of my clients thought it was a photo of me. Frightening.

Secretly, I wished it was.

And so it came to pass that Mr P and I found ourselves in the heart of hippyland, at Byron Bay. Beautiful beaches. Lush rainforests. Backpackers, cheesecloth, hemp headbands and finger cymbals. What’s not to love? And we did love it, for a three idyllic days.

Byron Bay Beach photo by Sheryl Allen

On our last day we decided to head out early (very early) for a farewell swim at the famous beach. I (not-so-neatly) tucked my wobbly white bits into my slimming black bathers. My spider-veiny, thunder thighs and tuck-shop-mum upper arms would have to fend for themselves. I donned a floaty (cheesecloth?) cover-up dress for the walk to the water’s edge.

As we neared the beach we heard music and came upon a large group of perhaps 200 dancers, all wearing red (mostly cheesecloth), and moving in fabulous choreographed rhythm to the soundtrack (which was supported by several enthusiastic bongo drummers).

A flash mob maybe? Eventually it dawned on us that it was Valentine’s Day and this was a celebration of free love (in the true spirit of hippy-dom).

About then, I looked down and noticed we were both (coincidentally) wearing red.

Serendipity.

We watched for a short while before heading up the beach, finding a quiet spot and stripping down to our bathers.

I looked down and noticed we were now both wearing black.

Serendipity.

As we reached the shallows I glanced back along the beach to where the hippies were doing their thing. Only a handful were left dancing on the sand. The rest were now frolicking in the shallows, still choreographed, but no longer in a sea of red … they were naked. I could see others throwing off the shackles of their cheesecloth and running for the water to join in the fun and freedom.

The pressure was on. Others nearer us, couples and solo swimmers, went out in support, peeling off their bathers and nuding up for free-loving water play.

Tempted, I looked down at my spider-veiny thunder thighs and tuck-shop-mum arms.

There was only one thing for it.

I gracefully dived under a wave and made for deeper water.

With my bathers ON. Firmly (if not neatly) tucked.

Mr P followed.

Because sometimes (just sometimes), aging gracefully means keeping your wobbly white bits (and your pink bits) to yourself.

No matter how loud your inner hippy is screaming.

[Images of naked dancing hippies and my pink bits, you ask? Now, that would be totes inappropes.]

 

generation fabulous

 

This post was inspired by a blog hop hosted by Generation Fabulous – the voices of midlife where you’ll find dozens of posts responding to the same theme – aging gracefully.

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Dearest Coffee Machine

Being fifty-something, the reality of an empty nest has been on the horizon for some time.

Foresight was cold comfort when I returned from a recent holiday to discover that Boy Wonder (my last little chick) had kicked himself out of the family snuggery and into a new adventure with his girlfriend.

empty nest, midlfie, fifty-something

Don’t get me wrong … the possibility had been raised before the event. I guess I was in denial. That is, until I opened up the appliance cupboard and was confronted by a big gap where Boy Wonder’s coffee machine had once lived.

For some weird-and-wacky reason, that’s when it really hit home.

That’s when I knew Boy Wonder was really gone.

And ever since, it’s been about the coffee machine.

nespresso, coffee machine, empty nest, midlife, boomers

Dearest Coffee Machine,

I know you were never really mine.

You were only on loan until you made your way out into the world.

Just the same, I got attached to you (maybe even addicted).

I got accustomed to greeting you every morning and the little lift you gave my day.

As long as you were here, there was the chance of seeing you mid-afternoon, evening or even over dinner.

Sometimes we even shared breakfast. Or lunch.

Sometimes, you sat on the bench top and (together) we solved the world’s big problems.

Now, I miss the kick you gave my every day and I daydream about how to get you back.

Coffee machine, you have left a big empty space in my heart appliance cupboard that no one else can fill.

Not even George Clooney.

Wish you were here.

Love

Mum Sheryl x

george clooney, nespresso, fifty-something,midlife, boomers, empty nest

The fence philosopher

Being fifty-something, I’m happy to grab my life philosophy and learnings when and where I can get ‘em.  I especially love it when I discover them in unexpected moments.

Last year I blogged about our Year of the fecking fence. As I suspected, our fencing phase overlapped into 2013, though only just.

As soon as our neighbours gave the green light for our new joint fence, I went in search of a fencing contractor. Bill the fencer turned up promptly to measure and discuss the job then mailed me back a reasonable quote the next day. In our book, having dealt with tardy tradesmen who take weeks to arrive or even acknowledge your call, Bill was the front-runner.  I didn’t mind his age (I guessed he was sixty-something), his heavy European accent or his struggle with English … I was after his fencing skills not his language skills. And he promised to build me a “schmick” fence.

Yes, Bill got the job.

Before: fecking fence

Before: fecking fence

He arrived early on day 1 and set to work dismantling the old fence, digging the new post holes and finally filling them with cement and new posts before knock-off time.

Day 2 was forecast as a scorcher. By lunchtime, Bill had the horizontal rails in place and the temperature was inching close to 40 degrees (that’s 40 degrees Celsius, folks). I decided to give him the option of knocking off early and coming back to finish the job in the morning when it would be cooler. I tracked him down in our neighbour’s yard.

He declined my offer to head home.

“What else am I gonna do?” he asked. “Another fence to build tomorrow. I said I finish today. I will.”

I surveyed his work so far, noting (aloud) that it was looking good already and that it was going to look great with the palings on.

There, in the dusty dry desolation of our neighbour’s backyard renovation, Bill turned to me, looked directly into my eyes and said (in perfect English): “Nailing on fence palings is like dressing a woman or shaving a man … the finishing touch.”

Like Robert Frost, only different.

In that single moment I understood more about fencing-as-a-craft than ever before and I knew (for certain) that my new fence was, indeed, going to be “schmick”.

fencing, fifty-something, boomers, midlife, philosophy

After: “schmick” fence

And so it came to pass.

If you’re in the Geelong area and after a “schmick” fence with some philosophy thrown in, email me and I’ll hook you up with Bill, the fence whisperer.

A killer production of Arsenic and Old Lace

Being fifty-something, I love to discover new and affordable experiences within a walking radius of home.

It gives me faith that if I’m ever asked to hand back my driver license (and that could happen, given my driving skill level or if anyone with any real credibility spies my feeble attempts at parallel parking) I’ll  still be able to amuse myself within close proximity of the Mothership.

Ideally, and looking much, MUCH further into the future, some of these activities should be reachable even if I’m sporting a walking stick or a wheelie frame. (Just in case.)

This past weekend, we were introduced to a little gem that dovetails perfectly into the above category … the Woodbin Theatre.

This wee little local theatre seats roughly 70 patrons and is the spiritual home of budding thespians and Geelong Repertory.

Our neighbour had kindly organised tickets for us to see the Geelong Repertory’s production of Arsenic and Old Lace at the Woodbin Theatre, a teensie weensie facility hidden away in a mostly residential side street in the heart of Geelong West; the very same territory we went planking in not so long back.

Woodbin Theatre Photo by Sheryl Allen

At $25 a ticket and with the theatre literally five minutes walk from the Mothership, this was an easy sell. And who doesn’t love the rollicking black comedy style of Arsenic and Old Lace (I had only previously seen snippets of the Cary Grant movie version)?

We arrived at the theatre to be greeted by friendly, casually dressed staff and complimentary sherries. The diminutive bar was open for business and in the pint-sized foyer it was easy to spot acquaintances and friends (there were a few in the crowd; for a big city, Geelong is a small world).

The bells rang to summon us into the theatre and Mr P was happy to learn that he was welcome to carry his beer into the auditorium (which could be an overstatement) provided he poured it from the glass stubby into a plastic mug (supplied). Done and done.

What an intimate setting … we were in the second row and so close to the action that we might as well have been sitting amongst the actors themselves.

I stole a quick squiz of the program before the lights went down and discovered that the director had been amongst the foyer greeting party. He’d even sold us raffle tickets to win a bottle of elderberry wine (laughable if you know the plot of Arsenic and Old Lace).

I also noted that my old English teacher was amongst the cast, and that my old Geography teacher had had a hand in creating the set (which was quite spectacular and intelligently designed for maximum effect and function).

Arsenic and Old Lace program photo by Sheryl Allen

There was a quick intro and the curtain went up … well not really, there was no stage curtain, more a metaphoric rising of the drapery.

Without delay we were transported to another time and place by a cast of brilliant actors, perfectly rehearsed for both their lines and the physicality that is so much a part of this work. We laughed, and laughed … and then we laughed some more.

We laughed through a brief intermission (which was long enough for everyone to refresh themselves via the bar) and then filed back in for more giggles.

To say we were impressed is an understatement. We were gobsmacked by the professionalism of the cast and their crew (and the mix of young and old) … and by the character and community buzzing about the theatre.

More fun than you can poke a walking stick at.

And superb value at $25 a ticket. Yes, I’ll say it again: $25 a ticket!

We’re checking out the 2013 season and there are some doozies coming up including Miss Bosnia, The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie and Blackadder.

The tiny Woodbin Theatre punches well above its weight and is well worth a visit …  for the free sherry, if nothing else.

Geelong Repertory 2013 Season Photo by Sheryl Allen

Friends, ferries and canaries

Being fifty-something, I know that catching up with friends is one of life’s joys.

Last weekend, we set off on what has become an annual affair to catch up with old friends, Paul and Julie.

We set off early, picking up Jeff before sharing the half hour drive to the Queenscliff ferry terminal. We head across the bay to Sorrento and then on to Rosebud where Paul and Julie are summering in their caravan.

At the terminal I surrender a fare voucher won in a photo caption competition and Jeff flashes his Seniors Card. The foot passenger fare is very reasonable and, with discounts and vouchers, we’ve done particularly well. High five.

We board the ferry and Jeff pushes ahead through the crowd (seasoned traveller that he is) to secure us seats on the comfy chairs adjacent to the door-sized windows. We settle in for the forty minute journey, chatting about our plans to head out to a restaurant for lunch.

Ferry Window photo by Sheryl Allen

It’s a beautiful day on the bay. I’m entranced by the activity … jet-skiers, fishing boats, dive charter boats and the sister ferry saluting as she passes on her return journey to Queenscliff.

Fishing on the Bay photo by Sheryl Allen

We reach Sorrento and I note (to myself) how pretty it is over this side of the bay. The holiday resort town is bustling on this sunny Sunday!

Sorrento Jetty photo by Sheryl Allen

Paul collects us in his car and we crawl our way through the traffic to the caravan where Julie is waiting.

There are hugs and hellos, happy new years and how have you beens?

There’s an esky bursting with coldies and a couple of chickens twirling on the spit. Paul and Julie have surprised us with a “stay-in” lunch rather than us having to head back out to the bustle.

It’s not really a surprise.

They do it every year.

Every year we come empty-handed.

The guys settle into upmarket camp chairs in the “man cave” – a netted pop-up room that provides plenty of air movement (without the mosquitos).

Julie and I adjourn to the caravan to make cuppas and have some girlie chat.

Mr P, Jeff and Paul are old work colleagues. In another life, they were all drivers for the same company before the “big redundo” hit in 1998 and they were forced to carve new professional lives. We manage to get together two or three times a year … it means a lot for these guys to chat; their shared job and redundancy experience is an important part of their lives … and their stories.

We laugh our way through lunch and most of the afternoon. The easy conversation of old friends fills the air in the “man cave”, pushing back the road noise and happy squeals from the beach.

Man Cave photo by Sheryl Allen

Just before it’s time for the last ferry back, we head out for our customary walk around the caravan park and along the beach.

I am so outdoorsy-sy (not). I have armored myself with sunscreen, insect repellent and a straw hat.

I am to the outdoors as the canary in the cage is to the coalmine. I am always “first blood” for mosquitos; the first (sometimes only) one to be bitten and the harbinger of doom announcing: “the mossies are out!” – every time. I recently spent three days (including Christmas Day) drugged out on anti-histamines and slathered in Calamine Lotion (remember that?) after an outdoor evening soiree caught me unawares.

I’m the litmus paper for sunburn, too … always the first to feel the pink heat on my shoulders or my nose. By the time I notice and warn others of the danger, I know I have gone too far and that within a few hours I will be sporting painful patches of bright red sunburn (which will peel itchily within a few days, exposing lily white skin, again).

It’s the kind of sacrifices we canaries in cages have to make. Some make much greater sacrifices.

This time, in the caravan park, I’m prepared.

As we saunter beyond the communal toilet block, the earth starts to give away to sand beneath my Birkenstocks. We push through a narrow heathy strip and onto the beach where the bay unfolds before us in all its glistening glory.

We wander around, snap some photos and soak up the beachy-ness.

Julie and Sheryl at Rosebud Foreshore photo by Sheryl Allen

As we amble back through the park, the guys fall back a little and their conversation turns, as it always does, to Stevie.

Stevie was part of the old crew, too. He was tragically lost to depression in 2005 and these gatherings never finish without some Stevie reminiscing. It’s part of the reason this group catches up after all these years. I’m certain of it. The guys know they need to talk and chat and keep an eye out for one another.

In a weird way, Stevie was their canary in the cage. He made the danger of depression real for all of them.

By the time we reach the caravan, it’s time to go. There’s just a minute for a final laugh-filled try-out of the ridiculously expensive reclining camp chairs before we all, including Julie, squidge into the car for the ride back to the ferry terminal.

On the jetty, there are goodbyes and good lucks, hugs and handshakes, plans and promises.

Paul and Julie linger on the pier and wave us on as the ferry groans its way out from the dock and into the bay.

The three of us settle in by the door-sized windows for the forty minute journey home.

When we reach Queenscliff, I note (to myself) how pretty it is on this side of the bay, with the seagulls … and the canaries.

New year … an enigma wrapped in a resolution?

Being fifty-something, I’ve grown cynical about new year resolutions.

My resolve usually gets boxed up around the time of the Christmas decorations (during the second week of January) and remains elusive for another year.

This year, I decided to bypass the pretence of intent, to cold-shoulder the ten-step success schemes and turn a deaf ear to the media-led calls to take January by the balls.

I planned to ignore all the questions about resolutions and 2013 plans … and hope that nobody noticed.

“Stay calm and carry on” would fit nicely. Lazily. Steady-as-she-goes-ily.

Then a parcel arrived, just a few days shy of New Year’s Eve, and jolted me back to resolutions-ville.

The one device it contained summed up a simple plan that I can think I can live with for more than just a couple of weeks … hopefully for a year and much longer.

solarscales

Yes, my brand spanking new solar-powered bathroom scales are a sign.

They encapsulate two key initiatives that demand my attention:

  • to be healthier
  • to be kinder (to the planet, to myself, to others).

Why do I need new bathroom scales, you ask? My previous ones were confiscated by my personal trainer about two years ago (it was a condition of her training program). Since I stopped training with her about 18 months ago, I have been in weight limbo … guessing, via all the usual sure signs, that I was regaining the kilograms but never really confirming it (until I sighted indisputable photographic evidence). I haven’t been able to bring myself to face my ex-personal trainer and retrieve my old scales. I know … I should confront that reality, but let’s not go there.

My new reality is here and it has a blinking (solar-powered) sun-face to remind me, each morning, that we can all do our little bit to help care for the environment.

So, my forward goals are nothing like “they” say your goals should be – no quantitative targets, no timelines, no KPIs (no, I won’t be reporting progress here – that’s a journey of accountability that doesn’t need to be shared).

Just my simple re-align the mindset stuff:

I want to be more, while weighing less.

I want to tread lightly on the planet, and tread a little lighter in my own shoes.

I want to smile broader, but be less broad across the beam.

I want to be more hippy (“keep true to the dreams of thy youth”), while being less hippy (if you know what I mean).

keeptrue

What are your plans for the coming year? May you shine bright and brilliant throughout 2013 … I look forward to reflecting some of that light back to you.